| |
|
|
| 01:28am 09/09/2005 |
| |
uh i dont even know why i am doing this. but what the heck. personally, id rather write on paper but im drunk so i dont care. sophie is the shit. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:26pm 21/02/2005 |
| |
why does it seem that i wreck everything that means something to me |
|
| |
|
Read 5 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:52pm 08/02/2005 |
| |
if your name is esmerelda or the chels, youre by far the coolest person i know. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:32pm 04/02/2005 |
| |
im at work. im goin to chelsies tonite. norma jean has a new cd coming out. no more anthrobio exam. sweet. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| Through The Eyes Of A Dreamer |
|
|
| 10:22am 15/11/2004 |
| |
mood:  hopeful music: Walls Of Jericho
|
i havent really updated in a while. and it seems like whenever i do its when im really depressed and angry and shit. but yeah, college is sweet. ive made a lot of really sweet friends. i miss being able to see jon and anthony and baeder every day tho. i never get to see ilyse, chris, mike at all tho. but now let me say something about sweet shit. the arboretum is by far the sweetest shit around. and it is an excellant place to engage in activities that i enjoy doing. just being surrounded by trees in the middle of the night is really sweet. however, i find that it sux cause im used to hanging out with kids who like to dig things with me like trees, stars, the moon and such. instead i find myself having to put up with jon puking at the randomest times/places, and steve "murdering my ass." but its still cool and i <3 the arb. so schools kind of tough, but not that bad. i have a sweet job and its incredibly easy. um yeah i havent gone to a show in too long a time and its quite a tragedy, but soon.
.never isnt something for everyone. |
|
| |
|
Read 8 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 01:58am 15/10/2004 |
| |
im not gonna lie. life kind sux. i love fordirelifesake though and it keeps me going. |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 01:43am 24/09/2004 |
| |
never again. i'll slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine. maybe when you find out that i'm dead, you'll realize what you did to me. and if my lungs still let me breathe, would you be there for me.
if I can make myself believe, i'll give you back what you took away. no, I won't let it go. douse myself in gasoline. so don't save me when you come into the fire. i'd rather die than have to see your smile.
what a shitty night. i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me. i thought that going to college, shit like this wouldnt happen to me anymore. but what a suprise cause its happening again. whatever tho i need to stop caring. hopefully this weekend will be good, despite the fact that my friends are busy/not here. i really need to go to a show. one of the things i love most in life and shows make everything alright. alexisonfire/hopesfall/brazil/emery - saturday. oh wait, no one will go. beautiful. |
|
| |
|
Read 7 - Post |
| |
| Takeover |
|
|
| 09:36pm 21/09/2004 |
| |
So this is Brian's friend Josie and he told me to update his journal, and so that's what I'm doing. *Twiddles thumbs* He's an interesting guy. Anyway...not much to say about him. Found out that he uses women's products on his hair, which I thought was hilarious. Anyway I'm done with this shit. He gave me medicine and I'm getting kind of sleepy. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:22am 18/09/2004 |
| |
i wont lie to you, haha but today was a good day. i never thought id meet anyone who listened to the same music as i do around here but today i met this kid chris who does and thats so sweet. i dont even know anyone who actally likes a lot of the shit i do. and to top that off, i met this really cool girl taryn who also digs a lot of the music im into. so thats rad. so yeah tonite we went to a few parties, the second one we were at, all the sudden there were cops just chillin on the porch, so we finished our beers and got the fuck out of there. and then this other random party we went to was kust fucking weird but it was totally funny and this guy with an orange suit... i dont even know. colin and paul were also here tonite which was bitchin. tomorrow...i guess im goin to the game :x and then im not sure. i need sleep. oh yeah and i have people to to go the blood brothers show with. fuck yeah. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 05:14pm 06/09/2004 |
| |
so college is pretty rad. i havent really met too many people, but the people i have met are really cool. last nite i made some cool friends, and we went to some party until frank called and we went to the party he was at and it was a good time. classes start tomorrow and that should be ok.
my greatest gift to you is a dance floor |
|
| |
|
Read 4 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 12:01am 29/08/2004 |
| |
what did you do tonite? sat at home? i went to to fdls show you idiot. |
|
| |
|
Read 12 - Post |
| |
| young and aspiring |
|
|
| 12:25am 27/08/2004 |
| |
So lets not even try...you're right. Let's ball it up and throw it out the window. It's becoming all so clear in my mind. I've thought this thing through more like once or twice. I feel that this is my last request to you. Hold your breath....bottle it up and save it for the next one. It's safe to say we've been riding this all night. None of this will ever change your mind. It's never safe to rely on borrowed time. Now we're both undone, and it's time to open up your eyes. Consequence, it's our need in times like these. Feeling free...it's our modern disease. Your a classic disaster, with a knack for losing your exterior. (I'm so sick)...from staring at the mirror.
This all needs a break from you, and I'm used to this.
I fear that I am just an end. So you play the mistaken...and I'll play the victim in our screenplay of desire...I'm still writing the letters I'll never send. Running in circles I can't forget how many times I've played this in my mind....feeling free, feeling free. This is my panic... this is my call to arms. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 12:16am 14/08/2004 |
| |
so i didnt really want to do this....
um i duno ive just been hanging out the last week. ive hung out with a lot of cool people and done some pretty cool shit. we went to the hose factory wich was rather badass. red batteries are good. ive been hanging out with jon a lot cause everyone else is way cooler than that. i think im goin to college soon which will be cool. ive also been hanging out with nikki quite a bit cause shes an extremely cool cat. fuck warped tour, but it shall be good. it always is and the steemroller will be revived once again in the downtown streets of pontiac. leftover crack is playing in september at alvins. what a fucked up show that will be but it will be sweet so ill be there. im so sick of work and its gayer than life but thankfully im quitting both. the fordirelifesake release show is approaching and that will be good. if you arent going you suck hard. and i dont just say that because im going by myslef cause everyones dumb. yeah. between the buried and me...These hours seem like years… I’ve been staring at this wall, wondering when it’s going to take all of our lives. I’m jus glad we have jokes. I think way too much back here. My eyes are slowly closing; boredom is causing this loss of interest. When will I awake? Asleep…. This party of four includes three grown adults and myself. The first adult is very shy and wise enough to keep the second one away from conversation. (They’re on a mission). Gender is not recognized. The third adult is a male and talks too much. The room storms with laughter… four turn to a hundred and the noise is unbearable. “It’s time, you are in hell, this place will kill itself soon!” I cry, and the hands surround me. Born into a hell… I never wanted to wake to this. I have experienced nothing, yet I feel I’m the only one who has not done harm. If only I could understand how to change things… I can’t fucking think. The noise is unbearable. THE noise STOPS Clowns now appear. They are all carrying knives and cups of gasoline. “Tonight is our death”. The clowns then begin to slash each other… the skies open up; the flames pour in… the world watched in awe. MESMERIZED. The population soon follows the clown’s lead. Death is in the air. The three adults once again start talking… they ask questions of faith and love. “We shall live past these days, rid of all we’ve done.” I see what they mean now… but the retched smell has overcome… I am gone… THE BABY BORN WITH THE END OF THE WORLD… Awake… The five of us haven’t spoken in hours. Sitting alone to our own thoughts. Only we will know what strange things boredom has created.
i know now that im the only who possesses true happiness. we must play on. kkeep the beat, we tap our feet... screams add a new feel to what weve perfected so dear. well play to our deaths for we possess true happiness. we are finally free. dying with our one passion, music: the greatest wealth of them all. we must play on. |
|
| |
|
Read 4 - Post |
| |
| as the cardinals slit their wrist |
|
|
| 11:16pm 30/07/2004 |
| |
so this past week things have been really great. something that i never thought in a million years would happen happend. and its awesome. so ive been working but it sux and my hours got cut, kinda like my wrist. but yeah tsunami bomb/ lawrence arms/pipedown is monday. tomorrow were goin on the boat early and then im hanging out with nikki later. brian left fordirelifesake :( that really sux. and i say thank you for the stars |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 09:54pm 25/07/2004 |
| |
work sucked really hard today. oh well tomorrow might actually really sweet. and if not i think tuesday probably will be a good day. the rest of the week will most likely suck tho. i am at chriss right now and hes a bitch. and i guess....what is broken is easily fixed. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| ambulance vs. ambulance |
|
|
| 08:57pm 24/07/2004 |
| |
ambulance X extracts several consultants from the slow gumming death at the office orifice. ambulance Y imprisons the sigh of the recent amputee and dumps her in the xylophone trees. ambulance X scours the tanning complex for repunzels rotting in their skin cooking coffins. ambulance Y drops the body off at the door step. ambulance X pulls you out of the party and rubs your freckles like a dj to his records but ambulance Y teaches you the word goodbye and cuts off your hands to show you where you stand, under the monolith of what is love and what is scam, what is sun and what is tan. the ambulance angels pull up to your doorstep the sirens flash emergency, "oh god you'd better come quick." the ambulance angels chisel a crack in your mouth, and then they paint a landscape with your regret and shouts. roll tape and decode the moans, ventilate the scandal from these locked up mouth holes. you'll never see your wife and children again so tell us what it was going through your head, when you looked into their eyes and said "no thanks i'll take the hooker instead" you'll never see that office again so when the nurse amputates both of your thighs come a little bit closer to the mic and tell us what you miss more your desk or the hungry sky. the ambulance angels pull up to the graveyard, and leave you there bubbling broken sonnets and shards. the ambulance angels notify your next of kin and show them the scrap book of your operation: his head was a faucet leaking love, laughter and lies: all his secret wishes, all his world famous sighs. but before you give in, just remember we're coming back for your children.
today i got up and decided it would be in my best interest to go hot hopic and purchase the blood brothers - burn piano island, burn. so i did and it was a really good idea to do so. its the most fuct up cd i have ever heard next to godspeed you black emperor f#A# but yeah. its weird to cause the cd reminds me of ashley. cause she used to tell me she liked the blood brothes. i saw with afi and the explosion a few years ago and i didnt think they were too great cause they have to guys that just sing/scream, but the are totally sweet. but yeah i duno where ashley even is. we stopped talking and i think she lives in california and new york or something. work wasnt to bad then we went to chriss but he was with amanda somehwere so we chilled with his little brother. it may sound weird but im happier then i have been for a really long time. tomorrow is work.damn. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| xxxcross out the eyesxxx |
|
|
| 08:06pm 23/07/2004 |
| |
in the face of change ,is when she turned to me and said "im not sure anymore..." and there amidst the wavesand the cloudless skies, that blanket the year before i watch my life wash ashore. have you ever been a part of something that you thought would never end? and then of course it did. have you ever felt the weight inside you pulling away inside your skin?
and then something had to give. now the lines are drawn
is this feeling gone? the best parts of this have come and gone.
last nite i had a dream where i just went around and hardcore danced in the weirdest places. i thought it was pretty cool. today me and chris and jon hung out at chriss for most of the day, we watched fear and loathing, and the a bunch of people came over. i stayed for a little while but it was kinda dumb so i left. the moon is out tonite, thats good. tomorrow i have to work....sux.
you can breathe without oxygen and live without sorrow. how i envy you, though pity your ghost. ignorance is bliss i wish i could never love you. so ironic that a heart made by man, when broken is easily fixed. but a human hurt can last a lifetime. rust or decay. the fire or the flame. you and i will lead the path to change. pave the way. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 10:32pm 22/07/2004 |
| |
for you:
yeah you know that you could save my life. there is a risk, there's a risk when your dealing with love. you could snap my neck. any speed you drive can be dangerous. mix the chemicals right dear, mix the chemicals right. cause i know what betrayal can mean. when this frame fails me will i trust you to carry me through? i know there's no such thing as safety
but i know what a promise can do. will i trust you, will i trust you to carry me through? i will trust you, cause i know what a promise can do.
today cedar point was rad. tomorrow ill just be hanging out at chriss for the most part. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:07pm 21/07/2004 |
| |
yeah im gay, and im writing only for kristina. today was the dentist and work. how shitty can one day be. it got a whole lot better tho when i convinced someone i was gay. haha. tomorrow is cedar point. cool. friday....no work, prolly skating ann arbor.
came a time, when every star falls brought you to tears again. we are the very hurt you sold, and what's the worst you take from every heart you break. and like the blade you stain, well I've been holding on tonight. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
punkindonuts21's journal